Hiraeth Draft #1.
Here I will post drafts and revisions of My Hiraeth writing assignment. Hiraeth is a Welsh term that cannot be defined in English, it mean a home you are longing to return to or a home that never was. For this assignment i chose to write about my grandmother. I chose this topic because she is definitely a great example of a home I would like to return to. I've always thought about being able to return to the life I had when my Gran was alive and being able to do some of the things we never got a chance to do. I feel as though this topic went very well with the term. Once I was able to define Hiraeth I knew writing about my Gran was the best option for me.
Here I will post drafts and revisions of My Hiraeth writing assignment. Hiraeth is a Welsh term that cannot be defined in English, it mean a home you are longing to return to or a home that never was. For this assignment i chose to write about my grandmother. I chose this topic because she is definitely a great example of a home I would like to return to. I've always thought about being able to return to the life I had when my Gran was alive and being able to do some of the things we never got a chance to do. I feel as though this topic went very well with the term. Once I was able to define Hiraeth I knew writing about my Gran was the best option for me.
I would do anything just to hear her say "I'll granny ya"! Or "Hello it's me". I'am very nostalgic when it comes to my Gran. I hate to realize that I can never return to that "home" with her again. This upsets me because I feel like at times, I was so selfish. She wanted two last things before she had passed. Those things were to see me graduate and go off to prom. I wish I had got the chance I would tell her how sorry I was for disappointing her. I would tell her all of the things I loved about her, or reminisce on all the great memories we had together. Days before my prom she was admitted into the hospital with hopes that she would soon get out before my special day came. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. On the day of my prom, my mother and I had an understanding that I would visit her in the hospital before I left for prom. Time got away from me and I was running late, prom started at 8 and if I could remember it was around 7:30. At this point i'm thinking if I don't make it on time, I won't be able to get into my SENIOR prom. I knew at that moment she wouldn't be able to see me. She was so upset that she wasn't able to see me off and said she had been waiting for me all night. I felt so fucked up knowing she was sadly counting down her last days. It broke my heart knowing I could've made her happy by doing one simple thing.
The day after my prom she became incoherent. She was only able to nod her head yes and no, so I asked her would she like for me to put my prom dress on especially for her. She shook her head yes. So I did. I went and got my makeup and hair done exactly how I had for prom. With bold red lips and hair curled and pinned to the side I stood in front of her and when she saw me all she could do was smile. It didn't feel the same though. I feel like an asshole thinking back on it. Even spending more time with her during her last days would've meant so much to her. If I could just sit at the foot of her bed and listen to Rod Stewart with her one more time I would. Or smell the strong scent of wallflower and peony in her Dune perfume by Christian Dior. Or how she was so particular applying her Dior frosted lipstick. Writing about this home I can't return to makes me think back on the last few days I had with her. It has been two years since her funeral and I haven't thought about the impact her death has had on me until I started writing this. I'm literally writing this as I go. It's hitting me hard knowing I can't return to this home... A week after my prom was graduation, I just knew I couldn't I couldn't fuck this up. The morning of June 14th as soon as I woke up I got dressed and went right to my Gran so she could see me in my cap and gown. She smiled and nodded her head yes. As if she was trying to say congratulations, you did it. She wanted to take pictures with me, and so I did. unfortunately I don't have them anymore, but that day still holds a special place in my heart. 5 days later, I got a gut wrenching call. "She's gone" were the only words my mum could utter. I rushed out of the house so I could see her body laying there peacefully one last time. I was so close, but by the time I got there they had taken her out. The feeling I had inside was unreal, I could never get her back. I could never come back to that "home" I had within her. If I knew then what I know now, I would've done things so differently. I would've done all of the silly things she wanted me to do or wear all of the things she bought me even if I didn't like them because I know it would've made her happy. I would love to sit down at the dinner table with her one last time and talk about what she's going to make tomorrow night. Or how she can't wait to go Scotland and bring me back these god awful sweaters that I would never wear. If there was ever a home that I would want to return to, it would be the one I had within her.
The day after my prom she became incoherent. She was only able to nod her head yes and no, so I asked her would she like for me to put my prom dress on especially for her. She shook her head yes. So I did. I went and got my makeup and hair done exactly how I had for prom. With bold red lips and hair curled and pinned to the side I stood in front of her and when she saw me all she could do was smile. It didn't feel the same though. I feel like an asshole thinking back on it. Even spending more time with her during her last days would've meant so much to her. If I could just sit at the foot of her bed and listen to Rod Stewart with her one more time I would. Or smell the strong scent of wallflower and peony in her Dune perfume by Christian Dior. Or how she was so particular applying her Dior frosted lipstick. Writing about this home I can't return to makes me think back on the last few days I had with her. It has been two years since her funeral and I haven't thought about the impact her death has had on me until I started writing this. I'm literally writing this as I go. It's hitting me hard knowing I can't return to this home... A week after my prom was graduation, I just knew I couldn't I couldn't fuck this up. The morning of June 14th as soon as I woke up I got dressed and went right to my Gran so she could see me in my cap and gown. She smiled and nodded her head yes. As if she was trying to say congratulations, you did it. She wanted to take pictures with me, and so I did. unfortunately I don't have them anymore, but that day still holds a special place in my heart. 5 days later, I got a gut wrenching call. "She's gone" were the only words my mum could utter. I rushed out of the house so I could see her body laying there peacefully one last time. I was so close, but by the time I got there they had taken her out. The feeling I had inside was unreal, I could never get her back. I could never come back to that "home" I had within her. If I knew then what I know now, I would've done things so differently. I would've done all of the silly things she wanted me to do or wear all of the things she bought me even if I didn't like them because I know it would've made her happy. I would love to sit down at the dinner table with her one last time and talk about what she's going to make tomorrow night. Or how she can't wait to go Scotland and bring me back these god awful sweaters that I would never wear. If there was ever a home that I would want to return to, it would be the one I had within her.
Hiraeth Draft #2
With bold red lips my hair curled and pinned to the side I stood in front of her in my long white sequence dress and when she saw me all she could do was smile. It didn't feel the same though. I feel like an asshole thinking back on it.
I would do anything just to hear her say "I'll granny ya"! Or "Hello it's me". I'am very nostalgic when it comes to my Gran. I hate to realize that I can never return to that "home" with her again. This upsets me because I feel like at times, I was so selfish. She wanted two last things before she had passed. Those things were to see me graduate and go off to prom. I wish I had got the chance I would tell her how sorry I was for disappointing her. I would tell her all of the things I loved about her, or reminisce on all the great memories we had together. Days before my prom she was admitted into the hospital with hopes that she would soon get out before my special day came. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. On the day of my prom, my mother and I had an understanding that I would visit her in the hospital before I left for prom. Time got away from me and I was running late, prom started at 8 and if I could remember it was around 7:30. At this point i'm thinking if I don't make it on time, I won't be able to get into my SENIOR prom. I knew at that moment she wouldn't be able to see me. She was so upset that she wasn't able to see me off and said she had been waiting for me all night. I felt so fucked up knowing she was sadly counting down her last days. It broke my heart knowing I could've made her happy by doing one simple thing. The day after my prom she became incoherent. She was only able to nod her head yes and no, so I asked her would she like for me to put my prom dress on especially for her. She shook her head yes. So I did. Even spending more time with her during her last days would've meant so much to her. If I could just sit at the foot of her bed and listen to Rod Stewart with her one more time I would. Or smell the strong scent of wallflower and peony in her Dune perfume by Christian Dior. Or how she was so particular applying her Dior frosted lipstick. Writing about this home I can't return to makes me think back on the last few days I had with her. It has been two years since her funeral and I haven't thought about the impact her death has had on me until I started writing this. I'm literally writing this as I go. It's hitting me hard knowing I can't return to this home... A week after my prom was graduation, I just knew I couldn't I couldn't fuck this up. The morning of June 14th as soon as I woke up I got dressed and went right to my Gran so she could see me in my cap and gown. She smiled and nodded her head yes. As if she was trying to say congratulations, you did it. She wanted to take pictures with me, and so I did. unfortunately I don't have them anymore, but that day still holds a special place in my heart. 5 days later, I got a gut wrenching call. "She's gone" were the only words my mum could utter. I rushed out of the house so I could see her body laying there peacefully one last time. I was so close, but by the time I got there they had taken her out. The feeling I had inside was unreal, I could never get her back. I could never come back to that "home" I had within her. If I knew then what I know now, I would've done things so differently. I would've done all of the silly things she wanted me to do or wear all of the things she bought me even if I didn't like them because I know it would've made her happy. I would love to sit down at the dinner table with her one last time and talk about what she's going to make tomorrow night. Or how she can't wait to go Scotland and bring me back these god awful sweaters that I would never wear. If there was ever a home that I would want to return to, it would be the one I had within her.
I would do anything just to hear her say "I'll granny ya"! Or "Hello it's me". I'am very nostalgic when it comes to my Gran. I hate to realize that I can never return to that "home" with her again. This upsets me because I feel like at times, I was so selfish. She wanted two last things before she had passed. Those things were to see me graduate and go off to prom. I wish I had got the chance I would tell her how sorry I was for disappointing her. I would tell her all of the things I loved about her, or reminisce on all the great memories we had together. Days before my prom she was admitted into the hospital with hopes that she would soon get out before my special day came. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. On the day of my prom, my mother and I had an understanding that I would visit her in the hospital before I left for prom. Time got away from me and I was running late, prom started at 8 and if I could remember it was around 7:30. At this point i'm thinking if I don't make it on time, I won't be able to get into my SENIOR prom. I knew at that moment she wouldn't be able to see me. She was so upset that she wasn't able to see me off and said she had been waiting for me all night. I felt so fucked up knowing she was sadly counting down her last days. It broke my heart knowing I could've made her happy by doing one simple thing. The day after my prom she became incoherent. She was only able to nod her head yes and no, so I asked her would she like for me to put my prom dress on especially for her. She shook her head yes. So I did. Even spending more time with her during her last days would've meant so much to her. If I could just sit at the foot of her bed and listen to Rod Stewart with her one more time I would. Or smell the strong scent of wallflower and peony in her Dune perfume by Christian Dior. Or how she was so particular applying her Dior frosted lipstick. Writing about this home I can't return to makes me think back on the last few days I had with her. It has been two years since her funeral and I haven't thought about the impact her death has had on me until I started writing this. I'm literally writing this as I go. It's hitting me hard knowing I can't return to this home... A week after my prom was graduation, I just knew I couldn't I couldn't fuck this up. The morning of June 14th as soon as I woke up I got dressed and went right to my Gran so she could see me in my cap and gown. She smiled and nodded her head yes. As if she was trying to say congratulations, you did it. She wanted to take pictures with me, and so I did. unfortunately I don't have them anymore, but that day still holds a special place in my heart. 5 days later, I got a gut wrenching call. "She's gone" were the only words my mum could utter. I rushed out of the house so I could see her body laying there peacefully one last time. I was so close, but by the time I got there they had taken her out. The feeling I had inside was unreal, I could never get her back. I could never come back to that "home" I had within her. If I knew then what I know now, I would've done things so differently. I would've done all of the silly things she wanted me to do or wear all of the things she bought me even if I didn't like them because I know it would've made her happy. I would love to sit down at the dinner table with her one last time and talk about what she's going to make tomorrow night. Or how she can't wait to go Scotland and bring me back these god awful sweaters that I would never wear. If there was ever a home that I would want to return to, it would be the one I had within her.
Hiraeth Draft #3.. In this draft I completely rewrote my entire hiraeth, I was inspired to do this because I came up with a different idea of my "home".
I walk into what used to be my childhood home. The hinges of the door creak as I open it, the screen door slams loudly behind me. Although I could feel the vibes of despondency and despair I still say "Hello, it's me!" in my best Scottish accent. Despite their sadness everyone laughs, even my Gran, she tries to utter it back but her voice is so faint. As she lays there in the living room, bed pushed up against the wall, she motions me to come over to her, Rod Stewart playing in the background, voices that seem to be having conversations are blocked out. I grab a chair from the dining room table and pull it over to her bed, I sit down and grab her fragile hand. She smiles as she hums the melody of Forever Young swaying her head side to side with her eyes closed, I join in. In that moment all my worries have gone away, it seems to be just the two of us. The music stops as someone walks through the door, its my Aunt Wilma, well dressed, her short blonde hair slicked down with a part in the middle and sunglasses on she expresses "Helloooo it's me," everyone giggles. This was my grans signature greeting. It was so relieving to hear my Aunt Wilma say it in her heavy Scottish accent being as though my Gran was unable to say it because of the loss of her voice. Rod Stewart continues in the background, the time is now 4:00 pm, my Grans feeding time, My Aunt Andria comes out of the living room and hands me a bowl of food to feed to my Gran, "eat up" she says. My Grans
face turned upside down, she hated this time of day. I picked up the spoon and jokingly "airplaned"it to her mouth, she grunts at me. "Come on, you have to eat" she responds "mhm mhm" as if shes saying yeah whatever. She hated the fact that she was unable to feed herself. After 5 long minutes of trying to feed her I say "If you don't finish your food you won't get that long island iced tea you've been waiting for" she grunts again and nudges me in the arm. I tell her "only a few more bites." When she finishes she points to the kitchen, I knew what that meant so I went and grabbed her long island iced tea out of the refrigerator. I pop off the cap and put a straw in it. I walk back into the living room put the straw up to her mouth and she smiles before she puts her lips on to the straw. "Ahhhhh" she acted as if this was the best thing she ever had, I start to comb her short grey hair, I apply her pink frosted Dior lipstick and spray on her Dior perfume that had the strong scent of peonys and wallflower, I wanted her to feel normal again. Although I hated the smell of her perfume then , I sure do miss it now.
I walk into what used to be my childhood home. The hinges of the door creak as I open it, the screen door slams loudly behind me. Although I could feel the vibes of despondency and despair I still say "Hello, it's me!" in my best Scottish accent. Despite their sadness everyone laughs, even my Gran, she tries to utter it back but her voice is so faint. As she lays there in the living room, bed pushed up against the wall, she motions me to come over to her, Rod Stewart playing in the background, voices that seem to be having conversations are blocked out. I grab a chair from the dining room table and pull it over to her bed, I sit down and grab her fragile hand. She smiles as she hums the melody of Forever Young swaying her head side to side with her eyes closed, I join in. In that moment all my worries have gone away, it seems to be just the two of us. The music stops as someone walks through the door, its my Aunt Wilma, well dressed, her short blonde hair slicked down with a part in the middle and sunglasses on she expresses "Helloooo it's me," everyone giggles. This was my grans signature greeting. It was so relieving to hear my Aunt Wilma say it in her heavy Scottish accent being as though my Gran was unable to say it because of the loss of her voice. Rod Stewart continues in the background, the time is now 4:00 pm, my Grans feeding time, My Aunt Andria comes out of the living room and hands me a bowl of food to feed to my Gran, "eat up" she says. My Grans
face turned upside down, she hated this time of day. I picked up the spoon and jokingly "airplaned"it to her mouth, she grunts at me. "Come on, you have to eat" she responds "mhm mhm" as if shes saying yeah whatever. She hated the fact that she was unable to feed herself. After 5 long minutes of trying to feed her I say "If you don't finish your food you won't get that long island iced tea you've been waiting for" she grunts again and nudges me in the arm. I tell her "only a few more bites." When she finishes she points to the kitchen, I knew what that meant so I went and grabbed her long island iced tea out of the refrigerator. I pop off the cap and put a straw in it. I walk back into the living room put the straw up to her mouth and she smiles before she puts her lips on to the straw. "Ahhhhh" she acted as if this was the best thing she ever had, I start to comb her short grey hair, I apply her pink frosted Dior lipstick and spray on her Dior perfume that had the strong scent of peonys and wallflower, I wanted her to feel normal again. Although I hated the smell of her perfume then , I sure do miss it now.